Zune (AKA Napster 3.0)

Hey, Ipstenu!

Hey! It’s you again! I haven’t seen you since…

January, 2008. But who’s counting

I think we’d decided this kind of post was stupid and silly and not as funny as it should be. But whatevs. How can I help you?

I’m having a bit of Deja Vu today. And not in the Fringe sort of way.

Which was a fucking awesome finale. Props to Nimoy! Pretty much all of the FOX shows I watch had good finales this year. Now if they’d just save Dollhouse and Terminator I’d be happy.

This isn’t about that. It’s about the Zune.

Hit me, baby.

I saw this Zune ad about how it cost more to fill an iPod than to buy a Zune membership, and how you’d save money by paying $15 a month versus the $30k it would take to fill your iPod.

Wait a second that–

And THEN I read this Penny Arcade comic about the matter, and Gabe and Tycho said that you’d actually be paying infinity dollars to Zune and only could have your songs as long as you kept paying.

But that —

So I went back into your archives, which are fucked up by the way, you need to fix the categories and tags one day, and rememberd that you ranted about Napster making the same false claim, back in 2005.

Right, I–

Which pretty much means the non-Apple consortium has backpedaled to the point that they’re re-hashing the arguments from four years ago, making ad hominem claims that aren’t even based in real-world facts, but applying them to the practical functionality of a product anyway! Their entire advertising practice is based on ‘Oh yeah!’ instead of actually touting what makes their product desirable. They’re incapable of doing much more than pissing on the other guy! And it’s not that the iPod is perfect, hello, I’d like a radio please, but it does what it says it does.

True, but the iPhone–

Seriously, who’s stupid enough not to realize that it takes $30k to download and fill an iPod with music you KEEP rather than music you RENT! It’s a buyer’s market! The economy sucks, would you rather spend $15 on Amazon or iTunes to download the 10 songs you want and keep them, or spend $15 to listen to all the songs you want and keep none? Of course, someone out there knows how to rip all those songs, break the DRM, and share them on BitTorrent, which brings a return to the original Napster days (which is why I think the Zune is Napster 3.0, because the original was cool, but 2.0 was a sellout that failed). This will fail too! We used to all listen to the radio and tape the songs onto our cassette decks and make mix tapes! We used to break DRM all the time and no one cared! Now that there’s this ‘internet’ thing, they try to act like it’s a whole new world, when it’s just the same one but more obvious!

The smart thing would be to lower prices, or perhaps actually talk to people who download music illegally to understand why they do it! Sure some of them do it just to be that way, but others have actual understandable reasons. Don’t you?

… Oh, you’re done? I take the fifth on that one, but I do think the system’s broken.

Thank you!

Did you really need me for this conversation?

Oh. Uh, I guess not. Sorry.