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Vulcans Don’t Play The Dozens

startrekposter Spoilers for Star Trek will be in this post. Stop reading now if that bothers you.

Non-spoiler review: I liked it very much, and I enjoyed the movie greatly. There were a couple weird things, some plot holes, and me sniffling at Majel Barrett’s voice. But all in all, this was a good reboot. Funny, serious, action. And it makes me look forward to the next movie.

Keep reading if you’re good with spoilers.

Okay, the title of this post is because pretty much every time someone dissed Amanda Greyson (Spock’s mom), he got in a fight. Clearly the Vulcans don’t watch MTV and have never played the Dozens (aka Your Momma… jokes). I like the Vulcan ‘reboot’ or perhaps ‘explanation’ because finally we’re at the point where we can understand the Vulcans as more than just logic driven nerds. Sarek admits to being in love with Amanda to his son, something I think we only saw via Picard in TNG. Vulcans have emotions, feelings, and they acknowledge them. But they don’t let those feelings rule them. They use logic to control them instead.

I saw the movie with my cousin Dan, who is a huge Star Trek nerd, just like me, and knows TOS backwards and forwards. Dan said, correctly I feel, that he didn’t like the lack of ‘vibe’ from the original Trek. The lack of that hope for the future that we’re all going to make it and be great together. The movie was very much an action movie, with not as much thinking and planning as he likes. And I agree. If I have to pick a downside to the movie it’s that it felt like an action movie with characters I already knew.

On the other hand, the reboot gave us characters we knew and then turned them around a little. Spock and Uhura? My heart is a little crushed because Spock and Nurse Chapel were always my favorite pairing, but they made it work. Spock was embarrassed and a little perplexed about the whole thing, and Kirk teased him the way I always expected Kirk would about Spock being in love. The characters felt real to me, as real as they did to my fertile imagination as a child. They didn’t take it too seriously, but they did make you take it seriously enough. I never felt the principles were in danger, but then again, I’ve never felt that except in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

I could nit-pick (the engine room was industrial, but I get it as a sort of Titanic reference – beauty with a beast), I could quibble (Nero was a little lame), I could kvetch (there was a lot of coincidence). And really I didn’t think the world needed more proof that the Vulcans are the Jews (Holocaust anyone?). But none of it detracted enough from my enjoyment.

Unlike Battlestar Galactica, this was a ‘clean’ reboot. They didn’t delve into dark, emo, who’s going to cry this week. They kept the show a little campy, a little goofy, and little slapstick. Did you see the tribble Scotty had in his arctic base? Speaking of, some of the shout-outs to the series and the movies needs a mention here:

  • Scotty and tribbles (TOS: “Trouble with Tribbles”)
  • Nero and the wormy thing down Pike’s throat (Khan and Chekov “Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan”)
  • Pike’s uniform at the end (“Star Trek: The Motion Picture”)
  • Pike in a wheelchair (TOS: “Menagarie” (pt 1 and 2))
  • Kirk and the apple while cheating on the Kobyashi Maru test (he eats one when telling Savik that he cheated in “Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan”)
  • McCoy being ornery (basically his dialogue was McCoy from everywhere. Hobgoblin *snicker*)
  • Young Spock’s test (old Spock’s tests in “Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home” – How do you feel?)
  • Sulu and fencing (TOS: “The Naked Time”)
  • Red Shirts always die (… Dude everyone gets this)

And anyone who complains about too much coincidence between the two realities needs to go watch “Mirror, Mirror” again, and think of Zachary Quinto in a goatee. By the way, he stole the movie. I didn’t realize you could turn ‘Live long, and prosper’ into that big of an ‘F you!’ but he did it. He was great at playing someone with emotions so deep they shook his very soul.

So yes, see this movie. Enjoy it. Hopefully the next movie, because there will be one, will have a little less action and a little more smarts. A little more hope that we can overcome the worst and become the best.

I have been, and will always be, your friend, Star Trek.

Just please, please, ditch the grey/white uniforms from Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

2 replies on “Vulcans Don’t Play The Dozens”

My god that’s sad. It’s not like it’s HARD to make the salute, people!

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