I am not a Cubs Fan.
Okay, a lot of my posts start out like this, but it’s true! I don’t go to Cubs games to root for the Cubs unless they’re playing the White Sox or Yankees. I used to live about five minutes walk from Wrigley Field, but I moved another 5 minutes away a couple years ago. I watch the Cubs and enjoy them only becuase I live that close. I’m a ‘Self Defense Fan’ which means I appreciate them, but I only shed tears for the Indians.
Sunday night, Kol Nidre (the night before Yom Kippur), it was hard to ignore the Cubs and their victory. We got home before the game ended and I flicked it on to watch the tail end. When they won, I pressed mute and threw open the window to hear the roar of the crowd.
“Was it a home game?” asked Ipstenit.
“No, they’re in Atlanta,” says I.
“Noisy little fucks, aren’t they. So we won the world series?”
“No, just the first stage playoffs.”
“First- Oh, right, expanded divisions, top team from each of three divisions plus the wild card play until there are two left, and then second stage playoffs.”
“… I talk too much about baseball, don’t I?”
“Yeah, but it’s okay. I love you.”
“Thanks, I’ll try to keep it down.”
“Appreciate it. So who are the Cubs playing?”
“Florida Marlins.”
“Oh- OH! You hate them! They robbed us of the ’97 Series!”
Note: Indians vs Marlins, 1997. Indians lost, Ipstenu cried. No, really, I was inconsolable for weeks. Thankfully this was before I met Ipstenit, so she doesn’t know first hand how bad I was.
“Exactly!”
“Go Cubs!”
Still, the Cubs won on Sunday and tonight is Game One (best of seven) versus the Marlins. The Cubs really only have two good pitchers (Prior and Wood), and no real honest to God kick ass batters. Sosa? Well I already bitched about him.
Actually, this proves a point my father once tried to make to me. It was back when the Padres were doing decent, and I commented on how cool it was that Tony Gwen was trying to break a .400 batting average. My father told me that Tony Gwen was part of the reason why the Padres weren’t winning. Gwen was so concerned with getting his average up, that he was no longer playing for the good of the team. He was playing for himself.
Sosa, in many aspects, is what I like in a ballplayer. Every home run, he leaps with joy and acts like a little boy. Unlike Ken fuckin’ Griffey Jr, who poses like a son of a bitch and gloats. But for so long, Sosa was concerned with breaking the home run record, that he didn’t play for his team. The entire affair culminated with the corked bat, I think, when his desire for greatness was publically outed. And since then? The bat has been silent. The player hasn’t been fantastic, but he’s put his whole heart into the game.
Now, I hate the Marlins because they bought a World Series Title, and then sold all the good players off to make ends meet. That’s cheating. Pirate. I know. I like the Cubs because they carry the weight of 95 years of suckage, and yet they keep trying.
So this week, I root Cubs. Hey, if they win and the Red Sox beat the Yankees, then I predict that in the bottom of the 9th, at the 7th Game of the World Series (in Chicago), the Hellmouth opens up and swallows the city, right as Sosa steps up and hammers at the winning run … And we all die. The end.
PS: No, we didn’t have that exact conversation, it’s call ‘creative license,’ now grow up!
I also just got a spam mail about Christian Debt Managment. So lets get this right. I become a Christian and Jesus will absolve my sins and my debts? Hey, cool!