So it’s nearly Passover, and if you’re Jewish, that means you need to get a haircut beforehand, as we cannot get one after for a while. Naturally we all try to time it so we get a haircut as close to Passover as humanely possible. Naturally that means haircut places are overrun. Passover is Monday night, and since last year I nearly didn’t get one by mistiming it, I decided to go in today.
My normal haircut lady, Suzy, was out, and the one woman had a bit of a line of Jewish women getting haircuts. The owner informed me it would be at least 45 minutes, I sighed. I was about to leave my name and get in line, when a little old man (like 80) who is always there, but I’ve never seen cut hair, asks me, “You get hair cut like man?”
I do get my hair cut like men do, really. It’s short, it’s guy-styled, and I often lament that most barbers won’t do man-styling on women, so I’m stuck explaining to a woman ‘No, I want it short!’ over and over again. Here was a chance to do the experiment I’ve long desired: have a male hairstylist at a regular (i.e. non-salon) haircuttery do my hair. So I nodded, and decided why not! I came out looking like Butchy McFabulous (or Olivia Benson from her short-hair days on Law & Order: SVU – hence the photo above).
The weird thing was this is the first time in over fifteen years I’ve had a man cut my hair, and I’ve never had a barber cut my hair “like man.” This was basically a trip to a male barber, and I liked it! He did it in a different order than women do when they cut my hair, but the cut is what I like, it’s easy, and it was quick.
By different, it was like he did it backwards.
When Suzy Does My Hair
She has a set order: Right away she sprays my hair with water, to ‘control’ it and we always laugh because I have some serious cowlick when it’s hair-cutting day. That’s how I know it’s time to get a cut: I have a massive cowlick and look like Wolverine. First she free-hands with scissors down to a manageable length on top, and then shaves the back down similarly with clippers, using the longest ‘guard’ she has (I’m under orders not to shave it all off again). She next gets the thinners and rough cuts my hair down some more. Back to the clippers, she evens it all up, gets the bangs right, and cleans up my neck/ears to something sortable.
How The Old Guy Does My Hair
He first got out clippers and free-handed sheering my bushy head (it’s been 45 days since my last haircut). Then he totally finished up the ends and the back, making it even, getting rid of those ‘peaks’ down the back of my neck, getting the ears and all done right. The guy was fearless and used the clippers sans guard, which impressed me, and given that I have no weird bald spots, I think he was pretty fabulous. After he clipped it all down, he finished the ears and the back, making it even. Lastly, he got my hair wet, checked my natural part and cowlick, and thinned it all out.
The best part was in the middle, the owner says to the guy “You know that’s Suzy’s customer?” I think. They’re from Iran and I don’t speak the language, but I caught enough to know they were talking about me. My guy said he knew and was doing it like Suzy. Which was true.
The only major difference, other than the order of things, was that he was a bit more rough with his hands, when wiping the hairs off me. It was almost like a massage. He did good, though, so I am not complaining and he can cut my hair any time!