There may be trigger moments in here, so this is your warning.
So there was this drama thing. I love KickStarter, and how you can use it to crowdfund a bakery or a movie or anything, really. Someone decided to use it to crowdfund a book! Cool! Oh, wait, it’s a misogynistic and offensive book that promotes assaulting women. Now, the author says it doesn’t, and argues that he has a whole chapter on ‘Don’t rape!’ which is … yeah.
My issue with the book is pretty much the same as everyone else’s. I shall quote:
If at any point a girl wants you to stop, she will let you know. If she says “STOP,” or “GET AWAY FROM ME,” or shoves you away, you know she is not interested. It happens.
If you’re waiting for that moment to know ‘Maybe this woman isn’t that into me’ you’ve been bullying and pressuring her for too long, because, as a woman, when I snap and say that, I’m about a second from figuring out the best trajectory of using my laptop to brain you without harming my data. Think about that. Do you really want to be that close to pissing people off?
There’s nothing in the excerpts I’ve read (and I did read much but not all of it on Reddit) that explain “How to read the situation and understand if a woman is into you or not.” Which is what that book should be pushing. Instead, it says crap like “If a woman isn’t comfortable, take a break and try again later.” and “Don’t wait for signs before you make your move.” or better yet “From now on you must ASSUME that she is attracted to you and wants to be ravished. It’s a difference in mindset that makes champs champs and chumps chumps.” Look, that’s just rude. Pressuring people isn’t sexy, and it’s something women have to deal with daily. Imagine if every day of your life, people pressured you into going out with them. It’s tiring, it’s wearing, and it needs to stop.
But that’s not the point of this post. Yeah, the thing was offensive and sexist. The internet cried FOUL and KickStarter said “Oops, our bad.” and posted an apology. I read it and left the following comment:
That apology is a nice start, but I call horsepucky on ‘We only had two hours…’
“If we had seen this material when the project was submitted to Kickstarter (we didn’t), it never would have been approved. Kickstarter is committed to a culture of respect.”
That sounds … really wrong.
You approve every single KickStarter before it goes live, and you’ve rejected many (for understandable reasons). Frankly, this tells me that whomever approved this particular KickStarter made a bone-headed mistake. This is something that should have been flagged for a high level review, and if it wasn’t, whomever said ‘Yeah, that’s okay,’ need to have a talking to about why this was not okay. I’m not saying fire them, but your entire approvals team needs to all sit down and discuss why this happened, why it’s not okay, and how to not have it happen again.
Put some checks and balances in BEFORE it gets approved.
Unless you’re trying to say “We don’t review the content before we approve a kickstarter” because if so? You need to start. Now.
Two of my friends pointed out “Hey, they probably didn’t read the whole thing, and not the stuff that was on Reddit.” Basically, they probably skimmed.
That’s my point, though. Their approval team needs to NOT skim. They need to read and review with thought and care. Because this is a business and it’s a relationship and it’s a fucking job, so treat it like one. You probably need a bigger review staff to do this, and well, congratulations. The ‘website’ for this guy’s book was linked to as a Reddit link: Above the game (on Reddit) so if KickStarter did not follow up and read that, they did their service a disservice because posted a month ago is advise to Get Close.
5) Get CLOSE to her, damn it!
To quote Rob Judge, “Personal space is for pussies.” I already told you that the most successful seducers are those who can’t keep their hands off of women. Well you’re not gonna be able to do that if you aren’t in close! Shake her hand, hold the handshake for just slightly longer than most guys would, and close the gap between you and the girl until you can feel the sexual tension thicken up. This is how you demonstrate intent in your approach.
Trust me, if you’ve got that “I’d fuck me” smirk on your face, standing tall, holding eye contact, right up closer to the girl than most guys, she will KNOW that you desire her and want to get to know her better. You can literally say anything at this point and you’ve made a direct approach. Congrats! Speaking of approaching…
Well reviewed, KickStarter.
Yes I do expect you to read everything in someone’s submission. Everyone’s submission. All the links. And if you get a funny feeling, or if a submission is about a type of person you’re not (like “How to come out to your parents” and you’re not gay) go find someone who is that type, and ask them how this makes them feel.
As a woman? The excepts the author posted makes me want to skip any WordCamp after parties, that’s for sure.
(By the way, you should read all the posts on reddit before making up your mind as to if this book was okay or not. Don’t take my word for it! Use your own mind!)