So here was my life before this year. Pretty normal:

• I lost one grandfather before I was born.
• I lost my step-grandfather before I graduated college.
• I lost the other ater 9/11 (unrelated).
• I lost my grandmother in-law a couple years ago during Rosh Hashana.

And then there was my life since April:

• I lost my grandfather in-law as March began this year.
• I lost one grandmother a month before her birthday this year.
• I lost the other grandmother right before the 4th of July.

The last three are little more brutal than I expected. Everyone except Taffy was kind of expected. Losing three within three months is … weird.

Anyway. So that’s what’s been going on and why I may be off.

I know a lot of you are thinking “Oh, fuck, what can I do?” and the answer is “Nothing right now, but that’s okay.” I really am okay with all this right now, as much as I can be with all this. I know my friends sympathize, and I will collect all the hugs y’all want to pass out at WordCamps and work and so on. But y’know… It’s fucked up. I know it. It’s confusing and conflicting and sad and angry and all those things. It’s also okay.

We knew GL was sick and dying. We knew Bertie was sick and dying. Taffy was a gut-punch because she went from Taffy to dead in 20 days without any prep or warning.

Today Taf would have been 93.