It’s not that I don’t like my co-workers, it’s that when I’m in teh office, working, I don’t often socialize. If it’s a non-busy day, I’ll hang a bit and chat. If you’re someone I really like and hang out with after work, I make time to hang out, but often it’ll be outside the office. If I swing by and say ‘hey’ it’s going to be brief. I just don’t socialize and work at the same time. It’s not personal, I just have stuff to do that they pay me for, and I have a work ethic.
I like to come in, work on code, figure out weird things, solve problems. Code problems. I don’t have any interest in solving PEOPLE problems, though. I will commiserate if you got tagged by a problem and lost your weekend, but within reason. I don’t want to hear a bitch-fest about how you hate everything. I can’t ‘fix’ that, and I don’t know what to say about it other than ‘Yeah, that sucks. I have to work now.’ Which doesn’t mean I don’t care (though sometimes I really don’t). But I’ve got a job to do and I want to do it.
In a way, I really like Twitter, because it’s non-instant IM. I post, people reply, and when I get the chance, I reply. They know not to expect right-away answers. If they need that, well, generally those are the people who have my phone number and can call or text me. Otherwise, they wait.
So here’s the deal. If you just want to bitch about everything, I’m not your girl. If you just want to cry about everything, I’m not your girl. If you’re not going to listen to a single, reasonable, suggestion and just derail every meeting by declaiming about everything that’s wrong, and asking questions no one cares about, I’m not your girl.
If you want to sit down and rationally list ‘This is what’s wrong, this is what I think might fix it’ and are willing to compromise, well then, I’m here to help.
I’m not a manager for a reason. I’m a great tech lead. I’m a great ‘How to’ resource and I’m fan-fucking-tastic at sorting out things I’ve never done before and getting them right. I will reinvent the wheel and make it even better. I will redesign the system and have it run faster, smoother and cooler. I will spend all day debugging.
But I won’t socialize if you’re just here to bitch.