So first and foremost, Superman is a Dick.
I read Superdickery a lot, and one of their major points is that Superman, for all his powers, is kind of a dick. The covers for a lot of older comics have Superman doing things like accusing Lois of murder and blaming shit on Jimmy. It’s not a shining moment, those things.
The fact that in the first 15 minutes, Supes pitched a baseball for his dog to chase, and sent it half-way around the world prompted me to shout (in my head) “Superman is a Dick!”
Ipstenit was less … restrained during the scene where Lois is pitched around inside an airplane. “Her hair isn’t even messed up!” And yes, she said that out loud, in the theater. And to think, normally I get chastised for saying “Bitch, don’t go in the pool!”
Overall, it was the big blue cheese. Not that I minded. Superman I expect to be cheesy, schlocky and tongue planted firmly in cheek. It’s about a dude in tights. Batman is a dark, brooding, gothic/noir vengeance demon. Superman is the bright colors, red, gold and blue, with the heroics and the justice, and the belief that everything will be right as rain.
You don’t go see Superman to see a deep movie, and while this was much more of a drama than an action flick, it doesn’t mean I expected passions and pain and love and … you know, depth. I didn’t expect realism in much of anything, but I did expect a little more than I got.
People were punched and didn’t bruise. Someone was killed and we didn’t see blood. It was as if the movie really was taking place in the 1970s. In short … it was a chick flick. And really that’s great. It’s nice to bring a superhero to a spot where non-nerds can appreciate the story.
A few quibbles remain.
Lex “WRONG” Luthor
One of my friends bitched about Luthor’s plot being a Land Grab. That was actually a lot of the plot of the first movie – he wanted California. Also, Luthor wanted the land with the super powers, to make every man a super man, including himself. This ties in with the current DC comic, 52, where Luthor is synthesising the ‘meta’ gene (to give people meta human powers) and wants to make everyone a hero. Or a villian. Y’know, Luthor. Kevin Spacey was a little more camp than I would have wanted, and the lack of a Ms. Tessmacher bothered me, but I can live with it. Frankly, I was spoiled from Smallville. Rosenbaum’s Luthor has redefined how sexy evil can be. Extra props to the ‘Magnificent Bastard’ wig that Luthor wore in the movie, since it reminded me of Lionel Luthor.
Lois Lane
Ugh. Just … Ugh. She sucked. She wasn’t ballsy enough, she wasn’t smart enough, she wasn’t tough enough, and she sure as hell wasn’t the ‘dame’ Lois we’re used to seeing. Also, I wish the world would just remember that Lois’ spelling sucks and bring that in. I’m not sure if Lois didn’t know who Clark was or not. I’m leaning towards she didn’t, and that’s just not realistic enough for me.
The Kid
I hated this. We all knew it was Superman’s kid. He had Supe’s ‘Clark’ hair. But. Hated the concept, hated the fact that now we have to deal with this shit if they make more movies. Ugh.