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Horribly Offensive Songs

Source here is Ambelies’ Tumblr and the story here is this. Boxer crabs are badass because they pick up stinging sea anemones and use them as weapons.

Waitaminutewaitaminute- what you’re telling me is that when that crab gets threatened, it picks up another organism laying nearby/minding it’s own business and then proceeds to use said innocent bystander to beat up whatever was threatening it?

This made a song to the tune of Llama Llama Duck.

I will beat a motherfucker
with another motherfucker
’til the motherfucker fucking fucked the motherfuck.

Motherfucker, Motherfucker,
Do not fuck with motherfuckers,
Who have other motherfuckers, with to fuck you back.

I once saw a spider
He was not a dove.
using other creatures like some fucking pompom gloves.

Beating motherfuckers,
He looked very pleased.
And with spider friends like that
Who needs anemones?

Did you see that motherfucker punch a fucker with a fucker?
I will beat a motherfucker
with a motherfuck.

Once a motherfucker fucked with
twice the motherfucker and he
found the motherfucker was a motherfucking… duck.

And then it was recorded:

So when you hear me shout “Motherfucking duck!” this is why.