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World’s Worst Movie

The worst movie I ever saw was Stanley & Iris, which is about a guy (Stanley, played by Robert Di Nero) who can’t read and a woman (Iris, Jane Fonda) who befirends him and … well, read WikiPedia but it’s really boring, and terrible.  The actors tried really hard, but god, it was terrible.

I saw this movie because my mom (who loves movies like I do) wanted to see Driving Miss Daisy but it was really crowded.  So we saw this instead.  For years, if I wanted to tease (or harass) her for a bad choice, I could just say “Stanley.  And.  Iris.”  and she would cringe.  I don’t do it anymore because I feel mean doing that to her.  But yeah, we both hated that movie.

Later that same year, Mom took me to Hawaii.  As we got on the plane, I grabbed the in-flight magazine and looked up what movies we’d get to watch.  Watching movies on planes is one of my favorite things.  What should I see?  Stanley & Iris.  Mom and I had already had a stupid fight about a basketball tournament the week before and were on touchy terms.  I was going to be sharing a room at the guest house with a girly girl who didn’t want to share a king sized bed (I slept on the floor the whole trip), and we were both already grumpy.  This was at one of the worse points in our relationship, as I recall, and I remember being distinctly annoyed and wishing I was with my Dad in Mexico.

However as the plane took off, the senior flight attendant announces that they loaded the wrong movies on the plane!  Instead of the dreaded movie, we were going to get to see Hunt for Red October.

Suddenly everything was right with the world.