So, I’m walking into work, I take the stairs and swing past my floor’s big ass conference room. Doesn’t every office have one? Anyway, I walk in and notice that the windows are clear. This reminds me that our apartment just had the windows cleaned, which only lasted a couple minutes. Cats, y’know? They put their noses up to the windows and smudged it all to fuck again.
And I think about how much work it goes into to wash the windows of my office or apartment. I mean, my apartment has 13 floors with 3 to 4 windows per apartment and 20 apartments a floor. So we’ll say 75 windows a floor times 13 is 975 windows, so I’d guess about 1000 windows really in the building. They wash them all in two days. That’s pretty phenomenal.
Then my office, which really has one wall of window, then two 3/4ths walls of windows, and a wall of no window, on seven floors. Which is only 21 windows, but they take up half a block so it’s a shit load more. I have no idea how long they take to do the windows, let alone the skylight up on six. But I guess it must take a day a wall, so three days. Still, that’s fast.
As I’m thinking about all this, I notice that there are two hand-prints on the inside of the glass window in the big conference room. I stop and stare. They’re about head high. They’re also not ‘angled.’ That is, they come dead straight on, which immediately makes me think about the CSI episode, “Unfriendly Skies.’ The couple have sex in the airplane bathroom and her hand prints are on the ceiling, prompting Sara Sidle to say ‘Stallion.’
And now I wonder … who the fuck had sex in my office building, in the big ass conference room that overlooks the main street.
Say it with me, children: eeeewww.