Ipstenu.Org

Ground control to Major Tom

To: Ministry of Cats
From: Agent Na’Toth

MoC. I am aware you have been disgruntled with the brevity of my reports, to the point that you have dispatched young agent Ruth to my station. Simply put, there has been nothing to report!

First and foremost, living with the two Ipstenu women has been comfortable and easy. However save the one field trip to offer last regards to agent Laupus (human designation Blackjack), we live a life of quiet seclusion. They have named me ‘Vashti’ and I am told it means ‘queen.’ Fitting, no?

Initially, I was lavished and adored, to the point that I had no desires unmet. Then they took me to the torturer. The ‘vet.’ Shortly thereafter, one of the other ‘moms’ went to the vet for surgery of her own. Well, all’s fair. I had shoes to sniff, people to play with, and they brought me men from time to time. They were already prepared to tend to our kind, so I felt no need to press the issue.

They’ve been trimming my nails for me and, while uncomfortable, it has gone well enough. The grooming has been pleasing, though I’ve been placed on a diet. I still enjoy the tuna juice, so I really can’t complain.

However, the last two weeks have been filled with stress. First the humans attempted to ‘nest’ by painting furniture. I was trapped in the bedroom with no access to the computers by which I could send you updates! By the time I was let free, I hardly had time to adjust before there was another surgery for the mom and then … her.

I realize that the human JMG is well respected in feline circles, and I too enjoy his care. Why he was permitted to bring me Ruth I do not understand. She is small, hardly a fourth my size, and has claimed the right handed mom as her own. This is alright. Everyone loves her, all felines and canines and baby humans trust her. Or so I’ve been told. She applies anti-hairball medicine to me, so I doubt the veracity of this claim.

Ruth has been named ‘Shego’ after that dratted cartoon ‘Kim Possible.’ I’ve noted that the collar is purple, instead of Shego’s trademark green. I find that amusing. She is small, she is active, and we are battling it out for the bed.

I am of divided opinion to her presence. She is entertaining to watch, but she is also young and reckless. She doesn’t understand human speak, and she’s impatient and brash. She’s also fiesty. I miss my quiet. That said, she is quite right in that it is nap time. More reports later.

– Na’Toth