The Amazing Loss

If you haven’t seen last night’s episode of The Amazing Race 3 (TAR3), don’t read this entry.

If you don’t watch TAR, this will be boring.

You’ve been warned.

So last night I watched TAR3 with Ipstenit. I’ve been watching every episode and chortling along the way. My mood and likeness factor for the teams swung around a lot, and I didn’t really commit myself to anyone until about the 6th episode. In elimination type shows, there’s no point in investing ones self in people who’re only around for one or two episodes.

That said, I’ll talk about the teams in the order they were Philiminated.

Team Soccer Mom (Gina and Sylvia) – Um. I liked them, I thought they’d have more drive, they were very cute. But they were the first ones to get booted. One of them (Sylvia?) is a crackin artist. Very hip for a soccer mom. Their problem was they weren’t agressive.

TnT (Tramel and Talicia) – Ohhh the (almost) local team! I’m not sure what their downfall was, but it was annoying because they were pretty cool people. I got a rather lackluster vide from their racing skills, and I think they just got crapped on by the bad luck genie. Well, that and they missed a boat and got stuck an hour or so behind.

Dennis and Andrew – *sob* Why!? Andrew the gay cheerleader was so cute and his dad was fantastic. They just got screwed by a plane fiasco and I felt bad. On the flip side, their apparant lack of travel mojo would have hurt. Still, they lost becuase there was no bunching, and y’know that’s okay. Their Philimination was just, albiet heart wrenching. Andrew! We still love you!

Heave (Heather and Eve) – They didn’t pick that nickname, it’s from TWoP, but it’s right. First, no offense to anyone, but Heave acted like idiots. Okay? They’re nice people, but they fucked up on their own and didn’t want to take the blame. Of the two, the one most dissapointing is Eve. Heather fought to the end, and Eve … Here’s the deal. They’d finished a soccer goalie roadblock and before reading the next clue, got in a cab. Okay, fine. Except the clue read for them to ‘walk’ to the pitstop. Er. In the end, they got penalized, and the penalty got them Philiminated. I should feel bad, but tehre was a scene in the cab when Heather says that the clue reads walk, and she asks the cabbie to stop. What really happened after that is up for debate. I think they asked the camera people what it meant. The problem was later one they said the camera people said it meant to walk up but they could take the cab. It didn’t. I don’t know. Personally, I think they sould have sucked it up and said ‘we fucked up’ and taken it like women. I hate people trying to push blame off on others. Also, this really hurt their career later, I suspect. And I feel badly for them. Not enough to call them something other than ‘Heave’ though. Sorry girls. Good luck on the Bar exams.

MiKathy (Michael and Kathy) – Oy. Here’s their story. He always picked the ‘chicken’ when they had detours, he took roadblocks he shouldn’t have (diving for a clue when he can’t swim)and so on. He was very laid back and in a race for a million bucks, that’s bad. Their downfall came when they put unleaded in a diesel car and hosed themselves. Instead of getting help, they checked into a hotel and took it easy. Naturally they came in last at Morocco.

Aahab (Aaron and Arianne) – To quote my friend Laura, “Nar!” First they fixiated on the Twins (Derek and Drew, see below), and second they were fuckin annoying. He’s gay, she wants his baby. How very Will&Grace of them, only without Jack and Karen. They’re not my kind of people, and that’s all it comes down to. Nothing personal, you two, but it’s an us thing. Sorry. They were the last team to arrive when Heave fucked up, and they would have been last when MiKathy lost if they’d not gotten help. They also put the wrong gas in their car. In the end, they couldn’t make up the time and their luck ran out. I liked them, I hated them, and now I wish they’d lasted longer.

Team Firecop (Andre and Damon) – These guys overslept on their train and had to backtrack 70 some odd miles. Their real problem? I have no idea. They were nice fellows, but unlucky.

JVJ (John Vito and Jill) – I like Jill so much that I’m playing a character in an RPG based on her (Jil Manx, the name is an acronym). First her brother and she applied last time. He died on 9/11. Then John Vito and she applied. He’s her brother’s best friend and her sweetie. They were nice to each other, the worked as a team should and they kicked ass. They were very travel unlucky, and it hosed them. JVJ, I love you two!

Twins (Derek and Drew) – Oh man they got nailed. Nice fellows, nice looking, good racers. After a couple early screw ups they came around to be solid contenders. Had they not gotten so ass backwards lost in Vietnam, they’d have beat out my boys, OhBrothers.

At this point, the last three teams were placed. None were Philiminated, so in reverse order we have …

Oh Brothers! (Ken and Gerard) – Yaaaayy! They shuold have won! I wanted them to win! I would have screamed if they’d won! Witty, snarky, balding brother with fantastic senses of humor and just … everything. BaldSnark, Brothers Oppostite. One’s gay, one’s straight. One’s a republican, one’s a demmie. One has a beard, one is clean shaven. And so on and so forth. KennyG, if you read this, come to Chicago. You boys were great, and if I race, I want to emulate you!

Teri and the Hat (Teri and Ian) – Old, married, with children. He treated her like a shew, she called him a schmuck. But under it all, you could tell they loved eachother. I hated them, then I saw Flo lose it, and now I would have been happy if they’d won. They didn’t. Sadly. Teri and Ian did well. Ian seems to have realized that he treated his wife like crap on the race, and is trying to make amends. If you two still love each other after this race, I think I can love you too.

Screech (Flo and Zach) – Oh my fucking god, they won!? How the hell could they win? Flo did one roadblock, she wouldn’t skydive, she wouldn’t bungee jump, she wuoldn’t do anything even remotely daring. She whined, cried, pouted, and personally I’d have snapped at her. Zach … is a saint, and I don’t cotton to saints. Zach deserved the money. Flo needs some help and a reality check. Sadly, since she won the race, she’s never going to realize how bitchy she was and how wrong she was to treat Zach like that. I have been told they’re still friends, and I think zach needs to stand up for himself and not be treated like a doormat by the shrieking harpy. Okay. Fine, they won. I’m pissed.

Gosh, I can’t wait for TAR4!