Tag Archives: ethics

They’re called boobs, Ed.

My Life, , , ,

I forgot to have childrenI’m a woman, I work in tech. Kinda wish I could leave it at that. I can’t, so I’m going to give you a shit-ton of relavant links, plus a commentary. There will be a test after.

Look, I’ve faced down misogyny in tech before. I think a lot about what I am and what that means and how I define myself. I deal with a life lived with a man’s name. I’m a minority in multiple ways, and sometimes that gets me down, but I also feel that, in many ways, open source gets things very right.

So now that you’ve read everything I’ve said in the last couple years about this, what do I have to say that’s new? What can I say that Stephanie Leary didn’t say better? Can I provide a POV vastly different from Chris Ford? Am I more poignant than Grimes, when she wants to be treated like a person.

I read the WPMUorg post “Where are the women in WordPrees?” too. Unlike my friends Shannon Smith and Siobhan McKewon, I was neither interviewed for this nor asked about it nor mentioned in the article itself. And I don’t really find that a personal slight. I’ve been left out of things in the WP community lists like this before (most notable would be where two WP news sites mentioned someone else who was raising money to go to WordCamp San Francisco last year but did not mention me, even as a successful ‘Look, she just did this too). Shit like this happens. I try not to take it personally, though I will say you lose a lot of my respect when I can spot holes like this in your research. They forgot HELEN for fuck’s sake. (Okay, maybe my feelers are a little bruised about being omitted… I’ll live.)

What do I think about all this for realzies, no takebacks, pinky swear?

Society is still pretty fucked up.

That’s what the problem is. It’s not tech, and it’s not WP, and it’s not school. It’s all these things to one degree or another. It’s why I picked the post title that I did. The idea that a women who shows cleavage gets powers is stupid, but it’s sadly valid in a lot of ways. There’s a reason shit like Boobquake (anniversary tomorrow!) was hilarious. Yes, cleavage causes earthquakes and gayness causes hurricanes.

Our society is growing, and it’s changing, and it’s learning. But it’s doing it in a way that feels real slow until someone points out to you that the Stonewall riots were in 1969. Or that Brown vs Board of Education happened in 1952. How about how women only got the right to vote in the US in 1920 (by the way, I cannot WAIT for the centennial party in 2020).

My point is that we’ve learned that separate but equal is a lie. We’ve learned that different people are different. We’ve learned that different societies are different. And the last hundred years have been fucking amazing with change and growth. And the point is that the problem is the world in general. It’s not just religion — some of my super religious friends are the most enlightened people I know, and some of my atheist friends are shockingly sexist — asshollery knows no limits. It’s not just technology or gaming or comics or writing or anything else. It’s everything. It’s all of it. All the time.

And the only way I know of to change it is to keep changing. Keep encouraging people who weren’t as lucky as I am, who didn’t have my opportunities and background and support. That’s why I taught at the Learn WP Workshops for Women, and why I do support women-only training. In some cases, for some women, it’s needed. Not everyone, but some, and I hate when people say “Well I didn’t have a problem, so it’s not needed.” because If you did have a problem somewhere down the line, if you were put off, this is only making it worse.

Every single day, someone is told they cannot do or be a certain thing because they are another thing.

Let’s stop that, shall we?

Let’s encourage people, tell them they can, and when you see someone who hits a roadblock because someone else back up the way told them “Girls can’t do math” or “Southerners can’t write well” or “Men can’t bake” take the time to tell them that they can too, and help them learn how.

That’s just what I think.

Comments will remain open. Your ability to leave them depends entirely on what you say and how I perceive it. This is my site.

NPH - Feb 2013

I Am Not Your Gay Agenda

My Life, ,

Recently, Neil Patrick Harris (aka one of the coolest guys on TV) did a commercial for CBS, the station he works for and the one who’s airing the Super Bowl. Apparently this is ‘pushing’ the gay agenda, and attacking Christianity, because he mimicked the eyeblack schtick that some Christian guy named Tebow does.

If it’s not obvious, I know nothing of football. I like baseball. Knowing this is to my detriment in this moment, I went and looked up who this Tebow guy is and found something amusing. Tim Tebow puts bible verses in silver pen on his eyeblack. Putting aside the fact that Mythbusters proved the eyeblack does absolutely nothing, Tebow’s pushing his own personal belief of Christianity on the field with a shout out to John 3:16, which Google tells me means this: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Personally I’d rather see Romans 12:19, if you’re trying to put fear in the hearts of your opponents, but to each their own. I don’t like that people can push their own personal agendas like that on the field, and yes I know I’m a little hypocritical when I say that I view optional religious devices (wearing a Star of David on a chain) to be in a different place than the required ones (wearing a hijab), but that’s my feeling. I have the same snark when athletes decide to wear a pink armband for breast cancer. Unless the whole team is doing it, please keep your personal agenda on your personal time. In this moment here, you represent the team.

But fine. The NFL is okay with Tebow doing that, then I’m willing to let it pass. I’m not in charge of that. Lets get back to the gay agenda. CBS is airing the Super Bowl, and per usual they’ve roped their stars into doing ads. Neil’s has him with eyeblack and it says “Feb 3, 2013″ which is clearly a reference to (a) Tebow and (b) when the Super Bowl airs. Thanks, I didn’t know that, actually. I’ll stay off the road.

Apparently this is “mocking Christianity” and CBS is “pushing the gay agenda.”

I didn’t know the stupid had gotten this bad, probably because I ignore the hell out of football, but seriously. What the fuck, people? Does Tebow represent his entire team when he puts those letters on his face? Does he represent all Christians, or even all of his Church? Of course not! He represents nothing more than himself! And if his team said “Tim, today you need to put ‘NY JETS’ on your face.” he’d probably argue, but most of us would shrug and say “Okay.” Because it would be our job.

If Simon said “Mika, I want you to play in a flag football game for work and have ‘DREAM HOST’ under your eyes.” I would do it, and probably get a giggle about it. Would DreamHost be pushing a gay agenda? No! Would I? No! DreamHost would be capitalizing on an apparently well known personality that has to do directly with football? Sure would! And that’s what CBS is doing.

Oh look! There are other people with eyeblack!

Beyonce is pushing the ‘agenda’ that she’s the halftime show. Escobar is being a homophobic asshole (‘Tu ere maricon’ means ‘you’re a faggot’). Neither were ‘mocking’ Christianity or Tebow, and frankly, if these ‘love your neighbor’ people are going to get their arms up over anything, how about you take on the creep who’s insulting people using ‘your’ schtick? How about you tell the really offensive people “Exodus 22:21″ or “Deuteronomy 10:19″ instead. Tool old school? “Mark 12:31″

No one’s mocking you with that commercial you morons. We’re mocking you now for being absolute idiots, though. Or at least I am. I know perfectly well that everything I do is not in support of the things in life I represent. If I eat an Apple, I’m not dissing Microsoft, just because I like Macintosh. If I debug Drupal, I’m not cheating on WordPress. But if I burn down someone’s house, it’s not because I’m gay, Jewish, use a Mac, like WordPress, or anything else. Just because you use those things as your excuse to misbehave doesn’t mean I ever will.

Here’s the truth: I have no agenda.

That’s it! My goal in life is to make the world a little better than when I came in, or at least as good as it was when I got here. My daily goal is to live with love and respect, to not disappoint the people who matter to me, and to personally take care of my health. I want to pet my cats, eat good food, be entertained, read, write, create, dance, laugh, and basically enjoy the world I’m in, because it’s the only one I get.

So please stop pushing your agenda on me, along with your fears and doubts. That’s all you, buddies, I’m just being me.

Twitter Olympics

Twitter Wars: Olympic Style

My Life, ,

In other Olympic related news, Twitter’s acted the ass too!

Twitter’s got issues with harassment. They don’t help. To quote myself from 2010:

In August, I found myself in a weird situation where I was having ‘reverse’ harassment (I was accused of harassing someone else). I thought about this and said ‘You know, there should be a way to handle this past blocking them. I mean, I’ve got a healthy self-image, but some people don’t.’ and I opened a ticket on Twitter for help.

Twitter did nothing.

Twitter Olympics I have an amusing history of being harassed by that fake Jorja Fox person, as well as a fake Nicolette Sheridan who also told people to hang themselves etc. The only way I was able to get her account removed was to contact Nicolette’s people and tell them “Hey, this idiot’s pretending to be your client and being a bitch. You, and only you, can get the account closed. Here’s how.” Never even got a reply from the agents.

The Twitter Wars:

Clearly I should have become a famous diver, like Tom Daley for whom, when he was harassed and threatened with death/violence, suspended the attacker’s account. Tom’s attacker has been arrested. Though that’s Great Britain, and they have weird laws. Or maybe I should be a major company, like NBC, who got Guy Adams suspended for posting ‘private’ information that was totally publicly available on NBCs website. Twitter says Guy can have his account back after he apologizes for breaking a rule. Which he didn’t. Even worse, Twitter told NBC about Guy’s tweet, and that they should complain, which is epic levels of asshattery. They did restore his account about 36 hours later, mind you, but in a form letter saying the original complaint was retracted. Eventually we got a more public apology and reply, but there’s no mention about how the email address was openly find-able on NBC’s website anyway.

I’m not the only one noting the disparity here, for a change. Jim Romesko blogged about @LauraGlu, who had tweeted:

Lest you think this is abnormal, Twitter didn’t suspend Spike Lee’s account when he published George Zimmerman’s home address, got it wrong, and instead sent angry people to an innocent elderly couple.

Basically, if you’re not famous/important, Twitter’s policy is this: Suck it up.

But if you are, they’ll move heaven and earth.

Nicely done, Twitter. You’re quickly becoming to harassment what Facebook is to privacy.